Efficiency

Jess, the kids and I went to a car dealership this morning. We were looking around at different SUVs, sort of thinking that one with third row seating might be nice. Of course when you go from two rows to three it makes the vehicle itself longer. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that one out.

On the way home, my mind got to working, and I thought I'd share my epiphany with you all... Obviously we should choose the longest car possible. Let's say that the Expedition is 1.5 feet longer than the Explorer. That means that for every mile the Explorer travels, the Expedition has gone an extra 792 feet. That might not seem like much at first, but believe me it'll add up. If it takes someone in a Jeep Liberty 14 hours and 21 minutes to get to Bloomington from here, it would only take us 12 hours and 49 minutes. This is one of those ideas that I'm suprised I haven't seen exploited in televison commercials before!

Then, while my mind was on the subject of efficiency of travel, I had another brilliant flash of genius... We've been living a lie. The scientists, schoolteachers and mothers of the world have all pulled the wool over our eyes. The Earth is standing completely still. The Sun, Moon and stars are obviously rotating around us at a constant speed. How do I know this? How am i so sure that I'm willing to state on this blog that this is absolutely a fact? Let me tell you. If you jump up in the air, what happens? Nothing right? You just come right back down to where you started. If the Earth was really spinning at the rate suggested by so-caled experts, a one second hang-time in Colorado would land me somewhere in Utah (of course I'd do my jumping on the Western Slope so as to avoid smacking into the mountains). Sure you'd always have to travel in a westward direction, but you'd get everywhere so fast. A few years back my friend Rob saw a pickup truck drive past our apartment complex. In the back of the truck was a medium sized dog. As the truck flew by it hit a dip in the road, and consequently the dog bounced up into the air. The dog stayed put, the truck continued on down the road. The dog landed on all fours in the middle of the road. Case closed! If the Earth was really moving then that dog would have stayed with the truck and landed down exactly where it had taken off from, but no it landed in the street. Think of it this way; if the Earth were really spinning around at 1000+ mph, then no standard commercial airliner could keep up, and all Eastbound flights would be cancelled. I'm actually pretty tired of coming up with all this evidence, especially since I know that I have alrady proved my case well beyond your average scientific theory. Therefore, until I see one of you Easterners or Midwesterners hopping by my house at 1000 mph I'll stick to this newfound belief.

Tuesday Tunes

Hibernaculum

It's getting cold here in Colorado. The weather started changing last night, with clouds and cold air blowing in over the mountains. The first weeks of Fall were beautiful, with crisp bright mornings and golden sunny afternoons. Temperatures have been reaching 70s and not dropping below the 50s. But todoay the mountains can not be seen, which means there's snow accumulating up high. The first freeze could happen tonight and for sure tomorrow night. This all concerns me after almost stepping on a Rattlesnake the other day...

it concerns me because I've always wondered (with a slight bit of apprehension) how these cold blooded creatures survive in these cold climates durring Winter. Now if I were Mom at this point I might reconsider reading any further. I did post that picture, which may have been enough to get a shriek and a quick shutting of the laptop, but just in case, this is a verbal warning.

When I almost stepped on the Rattlesnake I was working up in Cedar Heights, a gated community up on the mountain side above Colorado Springs. I hadn't seen a Rattlesnake in the wild here in Colorado the whole time I've lived here. I had heard that they couldn't survive over a certain altitude and thought the 6,500ft + location I was working at would be safe. Of course this turned out not to be the case. This led me to a information search, and here's a little condensed version of what I found: Rattlesnakes have been found at altitudes above 9,000ft. They can survive the winter by hiberbenating below the frostline (10ft deep at those higher altitudes). A snake Hibernaculum can consist of a single or a few snakes, but it has also been documented (Mom would love this) that up to 1,000 snakes will hibernate together. Rattlesnakes and Garter snakes will even sometimes hibernate together.

People who know me know that I like snakes and have always been fascinated by then. But, the idea of Rattlesnake(s), especially a lot of them seriously scares me. At the same time I would much rather there be Rattlesnakes slithering all around than having a world overrun by rodents, so I guess I'll just have to watch my step when Spring comes back around. I'm thankful that God kept me safe the other day, and I am thankful for His creation, even when it's a little creepy.

Björn the Bear

A W. Henry C. Comic

Obscure Reference - 10 Points

I promise not to do this on a regular basis (unless you want me to) but I just got glasses and I had this quote in my head all night.  See if you remember where this is from.

"I can't see a thing without my specs."

YearBookYourself.com

The latest craze to sweep across the Facebook landscape is the trend for people (myself included) to alter their profile pic as if it were found in a yearbook from yesteryear. I stumbled upon the website where many a fine pic can be created... www.yearbookyourself.com. Having spent minutes on the site I was able to produce several creepy yearbook pics, and hopefully a few laughs. I have taken this thinking a step further, utilizing the sites resource to determine what a baby will look like when it is older (and if it were to grow a mullet)... I give you Zion Bjorn Crum, lead singer of the Journey coverband "Bjorn-nee."

New Music Monday - Special Edition

"Lately Jon's been drivin' his car, seems duck-tape doesn't go too far."

From a live recording last year, the world premiere of: Skin & Bones

Zion Björn

"Nana & Zion"

"Freakin' out..."

Daniel's reaction to Björn crying.


Sorry there are so few pictures. We will take more and we will post more, but this is what we have now. Also, I promise that Michal and I do hold Zion, even though this is the only picture to prove it and you can't actually see the baby. Like I said, more to come...

The Waiting...

So, on Thursday I get this call, from my brother Ben.

He gives me all the info except for what I really want to know.

He asks me how work's going, what the weather's like, have I seen the new Brad Pitt movie...

I'm like; "Get to the point Ben!"

Finally after what seems like an eternity Ben tells me that Zion Bjorn Crum has been born.

Now here's the kicker; (thank's to the older post on this blog where I go on and on about a certain name that Mom suggests) I ask Ben "So what's his real name?"

The picture above is a recreation of actual events, due to the graphic nature of the real picture (considering I was at work at the time and it was a muddy day) I went to the trouble of posting this one instead.

Now my real reason for posting this is twofold: One, to apologize to Ben for the possibly offensive mistake. Two, hopefully this picture will encourage a more speedy posting of the picture(s) we're all really wanting to see.

BOURNE BJORN BORN!

Ben's Baby Boy Birthed.

Michal's Manly Miracle Manifest.

I think there all just getting too weird.  Maybe you can think of more. I only really like the first one.

Presenting: Pip's Parent's Progeny 

Wacky Wednesday

So, here's the non-update.

Still no baby born. Waiting... waiting... waiting.

Tonight David and I have our third installment of THE DANGEROUS BOYS' CLUB (see our new site here).

And this... this is the strangest (yet coolest) video ever evah...

Have a great Wednesday:

Luke Buda - Special Surprise

Soccer Stars!

Jesse's team is the Strikers in the Under 10 Boys league for CAA. They won today, 4-0, with Jesse scoring the second goal. Their record is 2 wins, 1 loss. Caithlin Lynch is his coach.

William's team is the Stallions, in the Under 13 Boys league. They are undefeated. William plays fullback. Mike Nee is his coach.

Matt's Blog...

In case any family members who seem to have fallen off the face of the blog-sphere happen to land here, you should redirect your attention to Matt's latest post [here]. It's one heck of a nostalgic joy-ride.

Baby Names

Ben and Michal are expecting a boy this month (although Elisabeth insists that only Crum girls may arrive in September). I would like to go on record with my guesses as to his name--and the reasons for my guesses. I invite others to post their guesses, too. I will personally award a prize to anyone whose guess is right-on (barring Ben and Michal, of course).

Mom's 1st Guess: Noah or Job
This guess comes from my reading in Ezekiel 14. Three righteous men are mentioned by name--Noah, Daniel, and Job. Since Daniel has already arrived, I'm guessing Noah is next in line.

Mom's 2nd Guess: Bjorn
I had a dream about the new baby, and his name was Bjorn in my dream. No, he wasn't a skin-changing bear. I will be content if this is his middle name, but I may call him Bjorn, no matter what his given name is.

The Full Toast

Best Tee-Shirt

The best tee-shirt slogan I've ever seen was worn by my cousin Richard at our recent reunion.
It said--
"It takes a viking to raze a village."

(added by Ben)

Genius!

The other day I complained on my blog about the new iTunes (version 8) crashing on my computer every time it tried to start up. Well, now that's all taken care of and I am loving it. Most of the new features that Apple releases with iTunes go by the wayside: the mini-store, folders for playlists [though, this is a great idea... I just don't want to have that many playlists], and now the new genius bar that tries to sell you more music. But there is one 'Genius' feature that is awesome. The Genius generated playlist. Here's how it works. You select a song you feel like listening to (eg. "No One's Gonna Love You" by Band of Horses), click the 'Genius' button (the little orbiting atom at the bottom-right), and Apple generates a playlist of similar music from your existing library. This is a great, simple way to listen to a random assortment of your own music without having Brian Regan, Bill Cosby, Mozart and The Arc Choir pop-up unannounced and unwanted.

From the cutting room floor

I thought I'd post a couple clips that I didn't include on the DVD. If you didn't get a DVD, find a Crum and ask nicely to watch. This first clip is Stephen, Jill and a pillow. Soon I release Matt's uncut toast...

Honor Du-elle

Funny commercial from last night's Giants v. Redskins football game.

Egg Love

Watch this film.

Tell what you think.

Ende.