Ruination Day

I regret to inform you that this might be the worst thing that you will hear for the rest of the year (it might just be bad enough to make this a bad year even if it was good up 'till now). What is this awful news? Rossie O'Donnell is slated to pollute the Broadway stage in none other than Fiddler on the Roof. I know, it is almost to hard to endure. But we must be strong in the midst of this horrendous atrocity and remember that no matter what they do on Broadway, we will always have the film with Topol and the strings of Isaac Stern. So don't cry, at least she's not playing Tevye!

Aouthor's thoughts prior to ch. 3

"Ask not what your country can do for you, but rather, what can you do for your country" -former president JFK-

Now I'm not sure if the quote above has anything to do with what I am about to write, but I'm not so sure what it is that I am about to write, so we shall just have to wait and see, won't we.

There are those of you who have read the first two chapters of an elaborate story that I have posted on this blog. Some are quick to accept but more are quite the opposite, so quick to slander. This is quite painful to me as an artist, or poet, or whatever whatever. Those of you who want to read The Cat in the Hat can do so, my story is not so simple and as easy to understand. I am not giving you the ending in the first sentance. The story may seem a bit odd, but every story has a starting place. This one just happens to have a quite random and weird starting place. You shouldn't hold this against the author (me) or the rest of the story (in the works).

So to get back to the opening line. Don't ask what this story can do for you, ask what you can do for this story...

Yea that doesn't make much sense does it!

It Isn't Easy Being Right

It isn't easy being right.

Sometimes I find myself wondering if there might just some benefits to not knowing what you're talking about. I read the other blog posts here on the Crum Family Blogsite and I realize that we're always right. Sure, there might be a little bit of disagreement over some of the details, but overall we're always right on. This perfection comes at a price though. Not everyone correctly interprets our self-sureness (what I like to call "Crum Confidence"). This is not self-reliance per se. Self-reliance contains a fatal weakness; not always recognizing one's weaknesses or limitations. Crum Confidence on the other hand is based on generations of experience. Crum Confidence is merely an acknowledgement of the fact that we have no weaknesses or limitations.

The reason I suggest that it isn't easy being right, is not that being right is in and of itself difficult, it is the dealing with always being right that can be so hard to take. When you get into an argument or even just a friendly discussion with a non-Crum, and you make your indisputable point, it just tugs at your heartstrings to see the look in that other person's eyes. Wouldn't it be nice to just once know that the other person is right? Perhaps even feel (what has only been explained to me by others) that sting of being wrong. Are we as Crums missing out on one of life's most important emotions; the agony of being incorrect?

Now obviously this is all just me rambling on, speculating on something that can never be. But it is good to think about, it may actually assist you in your Crum/non-Crum relationships. Try this next time you get into a discussion: Once you have dropped that all-encompassing, irrefutable, mind-boggling answer to end all answers, and as that glazed look begins to creep across the face of your friend, say "That was a great point! I never thought of it that way before". You see, even if we can't help but be right all the time, we don't always have to take all the credit.

What I want for Christmas

What do I want for Christmas? This is a question I wrestle with every year. I am not very good at getting presents for other people, but I am even worse at telling others what I want. I like music and movies and sweaters, that's about it. But today I found what I want... A Wooly Mammoth! Some Japanese scientists are working on cloning one, and so I figured it wouldn't be long before you can buy one at the Wal-Mart. What I have always liked about Jules Verne is the way he writes science fiction, I read it, then I walk outside and experience what he was writing about (rockets to the moon, underwater travel, dinosaurs in the center of the earth). Now it appears as if Michael Crichton will have his moment of glory when at last, pre-historic creatures are brought back to life (and eat everyone). Can I get an "oh yeah buddy"!!!

Ch. 2 - Cows and the French!

"To be lost is to be as one not yet found" - greek historian -

Angelina awoke to sound of an annoying blue bird outside of her window. Last night was somthing that she hoped she could forget. But the sight of three cows in trench coats stealing her '76 mustang 350 GTO was burned into her head. That is to say that the forth cow took a polaroid and than with the help of a cattle prod burned the photo to her head.

On a regular day she would just drive herself to work but this was no regular day. There was the small problem of not having a car. "Maybe I'll just call in sick today", she thought, as she headed to her large walk in closet. "I think that one day should give me plenty of time to get my "stang" back." This was all going through her head as she reached for and loaded her double barrelled sawed-off shotgun. "Those stupid cows are going to pay this time". Simply, she hadn't succeded in making them pay the last seven times, such as when they mowed the lawn to short one day, or the night that they danced all night on he roof in crudley made cloggs.

After dawning a rain coat and grabbing a bite to eat, Angelina left her home in search of the fiendish cows. Her search took her far and wide but nothing would prepare her for that which she was about to experience. It was about 5:34 in the evening as she journeyed through a wood she had never been in. The sun was quickly going down as she realized that her flashlight had French made batteries, and they were simply affraid of the dark. As she attempted to coax them out of hidding she became over confident with her knowledge of the surrounding wood, or just plain complacent or stupid. This resulted in her tripping over a slippery stone and falling over the edge of the very high bluff that she had been shortly before standing on. Branches and bramble slowed her fall, but her head struck a rotting oak trunk and she instantly was knocked unconscious.

New Music - Pandora

So you like music eh? I know that some of the Crum brothers have spent many hours (and in Jon's case, days) writing about their favorite musicians and their favorite albums and their favorite "greatest hits" and their favorite everything else related to music. Well, as I'm sure many of you can attest also, my musical tastes have been strongly influenced by the music that was in our home growing up. Just look at Jon's top ten albums and you find, of course, the Beatles over and over again. The music player on this very blog is based on music that we would have listened to, or heard Pop sing, growing up. River of Dreams by Billy Joel is one of the first CDs I remember ever seeing, Michael Jackson is, of course, our favorite break-dance music, and the theme to many episodes of "The Race" was composed by David Lance on the Desert Vision album. So how have we gone from our roots to where we are now? How did Nate get hooked on Dave Matthews and Hip-Hop, how did Matt ever hear of the Postal Service, and why do we listen to Iron & Wine or Jack Johnson? Well, obviously we have other people influencing our tastes in addition to our family. So I want to offer this little tool to those who still may feel confined by the music that everyone else listens to, or simply wants a change of tune... I have posted this on my own blog, it's called Pandora. You really should check it out. I don't often come across something that I can't stop talking about, but I have been telling everyone about this. You pick a song or artist that you know you like, and Pandora finds other similar music - stuff I have never heard before but really like. Give it a try.

[how does Pandora work? FAQ here]

"Quite Possibly the Astronomer Royal"

Why does the Christmas season follow directly after Thanksgiving?

I think it is a little bit strange that the day after we give thanks for all that we have, the day after our most contented day is the day we all rush about with our heads cut off in serious need of more, more, MORE!

I think some person in authority... who?... I don't know who. Quite possibly the astronomer Royal, should move the Thanksgiving holiday to a time where we really are thankful for everything we have, everything we have recently gotten. Sometime in between Christmas and Easter makes much more sence than just prior to the greatest shopping day of the year.

p.s. Does anyone else besides me remember that the Clauses would pray half-way through a meal just to be sure they WERE thankful?

Gary Larson: A Tribute

Gary Larson was a genius. Above is an example that made me laugh until I was tearing up. My favorite is the one with the two dogs who are being served their dinner, the one dog looks all excited and says to the ther dog; "It's canned dog food again!" As far as Larson cartoons that apply to right now, I really like the one with the big King Kong chalk outline on the street, and inside his chalk outline are a bunch of people chalk outline.. Nice.

BEN CRUM STILL COOL, SOURCES SAY

I simply wanted to let everyone know that there still are many people, including myself, who think that I am cool. To show some proof of this FACT I would challenge you all to follow this link and see for yourself just how cool I am. (If that link doesn't work go here and search for Ben Crum).

This semester is over!

One hour and 15 minutes of refraction and calculations and filter sandwiches was the final...well final of the 2005 Fall semester for yours truely. Having aced my math final (97/100) in a record 45 minutes earlier in the day I was anxious to complete my evening exam and file all my notes and sell my books, one week away from a road-trip to Florida. I have a little down time between then and now. Time to get an oil change, pick Nate up from the airport, maybe catch King Kong, make a playlist or two, wrap some gifts. This (should) will be the last road trip to Tampa to see the family. Come Christmas time 2006 and it will be a different, and hopefully shorter, stretch of interstate to see my family. And believe me, I've seen enough of I-75 to last a lifetime. The road from Chattanooga to Tampa is about as boring as driving across Kansas. No landmarks to look forward too, chances of bumper-to-bumper in ATL, and then reaching Florida and being slightly over halfway. The trip home is even worse, back to the slush and slop and blah of Bloomington.

And know for some Christmas Break Predictions:
1. - Pop will finally get that Jag he's always wanted.
2. - Mom will have one too many spiked (I mean spiced) ciders.
3. - Thomas will spend more time with Kalie than with his brothers from Indiana and Louisiana (this includes time she spends at the Crum house), but don't get me wrong, I also predict that I will understand.
4. - Jill Elisabeth will giggle for about 72 hours straight give or take a pig-snort or two.
5. - William will go undefeated at Tony Hawk (I'm bringing my PS2), but he will only be playing single player.
6. - Jesse will say something completely unintelligible, but we will all laugh because he's so cute.
7. - David will grow three more inches and another shoe size.
8. - Jon will make fun of Stephen to which Stephen will respond with either "Nerdy Brains" or "Dummy Fummy."
9. - Nate will announce the release of his long awaited "Mix Tape Vol. 1."
10. - And Matt will....... (I bet there could be some pretty good guesses as to what I'll do).

Chapter 1: Restless

Who could have ever imagined that three days could last a century.

"Only three days left", he thought, "so why can't I just calm down and wait it out?" But despite his best efforts he just couldn't get it off his mind. "I have the tickets, my leave paper-work is in, and my bags are packed... what am I so worried about? Man, this seems like forever!"

A brisk walk through the chill night seemed like a possible solution to the ever dwelling problem. "I'll just go freeze myself, to clear my mind", he thought as he slid out the door of his two story pent house. As he strolled into the nearby park he began to regret his decision to freeze as an escape from his ever looming anticipation. As he regreted his decision he found that he was lost and now in much need of a hot cup of coffee. "I'll just continue through this thicket untill I come upon a place to warm up and have a fresh brew".

One hour and thirty three minutes later he was crawling on his hands and knees through an ever thicker brush. It was so thick that he couldn't see an inch in front of his face. Panic began to overtake him as he struggled to carry on. Suddenly, as if by luck (or fate, or predestination) he happened upon a copper coin. Now this was a magical coin but he did not know that. In fact he just assumed it to be a penny so he payed it no attention.

Ignorance of the coin's true worth was he down fall but do not pity him because determination is his greatest strength. He pocketed the coin as if by instinct and druged on. The darkness surrounded him and the forest closed in, but he began to calm and except the fact that panic would only be a hindrance to him. With renewed hope he pushed on in what would be a more amazing journey than well... the band Journey!

The Crum Family: Behind the Legend (Part Two)

"I remember what my parents were like at that time" recalls Edwardo Crum, eldest Crum brother and leader of the Secret Police, an elite military task force specializing in Ausi-repelling and breaking in to "top secret" warehouses. "Pop would just pace the back and forth over the green shag carpet in our living room and Mom would stare out the front window at the Volkswagen (with Roles Royce front end) for hours."

There was no television, no VHS player, and no popular Christian Rap to listen to. The Crum home was a wasteland of coolness-drought. Then in the summer of '81 a revolution came, and it's initials were... M.T.V. Also Ben Crum was born. Though he was the first Crum baby to be referred to as "Ewok", he possessed that trait that all Crums would come to be known for... awesomenality (the nationality of awesomeness only attributed to the Crum "nation"). Ben was not the cause of the sea change that swept over the Crum family, but many say that he was the figurehead.

"Next thing you knew" recalls historian BJ Curly, "there was Ben's face on t-shirts, lunch boxen, and billboards advertising "The More You Know", he even guest stared in an episode of G.I. Joe (and I promptly had my Mom purchase the action figure for me.)"

The Crum family was on the rise. Their numbers were growing and their influences were spreading through pop-culture and politics. It is believed that the Crum family single-handidly brought the nation out of the recession of the '80s and with the guidance of Ben Crum brought in the technology boom of the '90s. "I know that I have claimed to have been the inventor of the internet" verbalizes former U.S. vice president Robo Gore "but the truth is that I simply assimilated the idea from the Ben Crum entity." It wasn't long before the name on the tip of every American's tongue (and often at the fronts of their shirts) was "Crum(b)". But their influence would not flatline, would not come to a climax, but rather would continue to grow. How far will the influence of the Crum's go as the world enters the new millennium?

Stay tuned for part three of The Crum Family: Behind the Legend

Pirates II

I thought you might all be interested in this (well, some of you might). I think it looks way better than the first one, mainly because they fight a giant squid... see the trailer here.

Matisyahu?

I would have to say that if you mix Bob Marly, 311, and Fiddler on the Roof than you will get the best new artist of 2005 (see Natedogg's blog). Matisyahu is a Jewish regae artist who was born in Pa (so give a shout out Pop, Peter, Matt, Ben, and Stephen). Check out his web site and his jams. It all rocks.

Christmas Gift Suggestion

Would someone please consider buying Pop a real lap desk for Christmas? His is homemade from cardboard and has served him well for many years, but it is shabby looking. I'm especially conscious of it now that the house is all in order and on the market, and there it sits on his footrest--looking shabby. It is wedge-shaped, 12"x 12"x 4" high at the back. I believe he uses it exclusively for holding books on his lap at the proper angle, so it shouldn't be too heavy and doesn't need to open. Please respond to this post as soon as you read it so that I know everyone has read it and I can remove it--I don't think Pop comes here often. If you're going to find a replacement let us all know. Thanks.

The Holiday Season is Here

This might be the coolest thing since the Numa Numa kid!!

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/videos/xmaslights.html

The Crum Family: Behind the Legend (Part One)

Why is it that the Crum family is so awesome? This has been the subject of much debate, many university classes, and a hit sitcom in the late 80's. What is it about the Crum family that makes us so proud and makes everyone else envious? I know that this has been the main theme in Edwardo's posts, but I would like to take a more in-depth look at this topic without referencing MacGyver (and without scary pictures of Pete).

As we look at the trends of awesomeness over the past few decades we see many trends, fashions, slang-words, and popular breakfast cereal ads have been directly influenced by the family Crum. However, the Crum family has not always had as huge an influence on the general public as it does today. In the late 60's the Crums were actually suffering from, what some experts refered to as, "a complete lack of coolness" and what others called "nerd like qualities." Even with the birth of the first four sons (Edwardo, Peter, Matthew, and Bob-kin) the family lacked the pizzazz it needed to function as the worlds top trend setting powerhouse.

"I remember those days" recalls Robert Moir, father of Jill Crum, "the whole family just seemed to be, well, weird. Let's just say they all wore matching knit sweaters, 'know what I mean? There was just something missing." It was a peaceful, quite time in the Crum home, but that would all soon change...

Stay tuned for part two of The Crum Family: Behind the Legend