Typically, as a rule, I don't use exclamation points, ever. But this is one of those rare situations that deserves a sense of urgency... If you recieve a DVD (two DVDs to be exact), do not watch them yet! If you recieve a package and you do not live in Maryland, you may open it, but do not watch the DVDs yet! If you are in Maryland, do not open the package, even though there are DVDs in there, you can't watch them anyway! The reason others can open their packages is that some (Matt and Emily) are responsible for dispersing said DVDs to others (but still don't anyone watch them yet!) On Christmas Day, Maryland people may open their package, but do not yet watch the DVDs! It is very important that the DVDs are not viewed until the evening of Christmas Day! I recommend putting them someplace safe, like on a high shelf out of the reach of anyone who might try to sneak a view. Be sure to put a Post-it on the television, and another on the gallon of milk, and just to be safe a bright pink Post-it duct taped to your wrist. Then whenever evening on Christmas Day arrives (officially that would be 5:23 PM or 17:23 hours). Then and only then should you place the first DVD (either one will do) into the nearest DVD player. Make sure your televison is properly connected (and turned on) and sit down quietly, preparing yourselves for something really special...
Merry Christmas everyone!
5 comments:
I can't wait!!!!!!
We may be away from home at 5:23 pm on Christmas Day. What are we to do?
Are you going to be somewhere where they don't have a DVD player?
Let's just say that you're at TGI Fridays, enjoying a nice Christmas rack of ribs, and an ice cold Miller Light... when 5:20 (17:20) rolls around, just politely request that your waiter pop in the DVD for the entire resteraunt to enjoy. Everyone there could probably stand to miss 14 minutes of whatever they might be showing on ESPN2 at the time.
Do you guarantee that the video is suitable for general viewing? We may be in mixed company with women and children present.
As they said on the Titanic, "women and children first!" Make sure the children are up front where they have the best vantage point, women just behind them, and if it's standing room only, hopefully the men will be true gentlemen and stand off to the side. Don't worry Mom, the copy I sent your way doesn't contain what I like to call "The Over-the-top Indiana version" and all its rampant nudity and violence...
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