Kung Fu Black Bear

David Letterman

I remember watching home-recorded VHS tapes of the David Letterman show. I think Peter used to stay up and watch him back in the day (thus knowing how to make the David Cookiemonster Show). He used to be really funny, now, what I've seen recently he just seems to have turned into a crude, dirty old man. However, this recent interview with Joaquin Phoenix is, by far, some of the funniest television I have seen in a long time. The only problem is, it's all at Joaquin's expense, I think that guy is out of his mind. Check it out here: CBS.com

Bad Words: Part Three

NOTE: For those of you at home (under the age of David), you may want to read this one quitly to yourself thus avoiding a possible bar-of-soap in the mouth.



PUKE (Synonyms: Barf, Upchuck, Hurl, Toss-the-cookies, Ride the Porcelain Bus, Blow Chunks, Burpin' Solid, Yack, Heave, Ralph (one of my personal favorites), Spew, Liquid Giggles, Disgorge)

As you can see, there are many ways of expressing the act of expelling ones slightly digested food. How Mom settled on one term, and why she limited our vocabulary to that term is far from clear. Let's examine, or digest if you will, the term "throw up".

First of all, "throw up" doesn't begin to describe what it is or what it feels looks or smells like. You could also use the same phrase in different contexts which creates confusion: ("Ben, can you throw up a carrot, some string, and a crutch?"). Using the word Puke, on the other hand, would have been so much more helpful and descriptive (the word Ralph, though occasionally being confused with a person or maybe a movie staring John Goodman, would be even better). Puke just sounds gross, it sounds like it would all of a sudden rack your body causing convulsions and expel itself. Not to mention the fact that words like Yack, Puke, and Barf have all been coined for one purpose, they are not sterile phrases conceived by non-offensive, non-imaginative (and probably French) women, but rather words created for the soul purpose of describing vomit (which is also a good word).

Puke, Barf, Upchuck, Hurl, Ralph, Disgorge, Earl, Cough cubes, Giggle chunks, Gargling gravy, Liberate your lunch, Liquid laughter, Paint the wall, Retch, Regurgitate, Solid scream, Bark'n up breakfast, Commode hugging, Giggle to Ralph over the porcelain intercom, Sing lunch, Technicolor yodel, Yell down the porcelain manhole, Toss a tiger, & Park the Buick. There, got it all out of my system.

Ninja Parade

Peter, this is for you. I just found it on the Onion and thought I would share:



NOTE: I do not, by posting this video, endorse all the videos on the Onion, just this one!